


study dates and bad nights

by notabeachcommunity



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Crying, M/M, Multi, Other, Polyamory, adhd jeremy, bipolar jeremy, hnnnn i wrote this while camping so it probably sucks, idk what this is, the squip is mentioned btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 16:08:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notabeachcommunity/pseuds/notabeachcommunity
Summary: jeremy, rich, michael, and jake are having a study date. jeremy gets done early and shit goes down.





	study dates and bad nights

**Author's Note:**

> lmao this sucks just saying :'))

It was a Wednesday. 

Ugh, Wednesdays, you think. How boring. 

Well, if you are thinking that, then you'd be thinking the exact same thing as a certain Jeremy Heere. 

Jeremy was supposed to be "studying" right now with his three boyfriends, Rich, Michael, and Jake. It was normal for the four boys to be having a study date on a boring day like Wednesday. 

But, today was different. 

Jeremy had gotten done with his homework earlier than his boyfriends. It wouldn't mean that much to the average person, but to someone with ADHD and has to have something to do, to Jeremy, it was hell. 

It felt like Satan had decided to torment Jeremy for today, taking a break from people who were already burning in the fiery pits of hell. Oh no, he had to put all of his attention on Jeremy. 

How. Fucking. Perfect. 

Jeremy almost always had to have something to do. Him being bored is the equivalent to someone with cancer suffering for so many years before finally dying out. 

Well, maybe not that dramatic. That's just how Jeremy decided to describe it. 

Anyways, he was bored. They were all laying on Jake's bed, since it was his turn to house their study date. Michael was sitting up against the headboard doing some sort of math homework, while Jake was on his stomach, trying to remember vocabulary terms for tomorrow's test. Rich was sitting like Michael, only his feet occasionally touched Jakes face, making the tall teen groan with annoyance and frustration while the shorter laughed. Rich was finishing some late packet over the effects of World War II for social studies.

Jeremy was squished between Rich and Michael, playing with a rubber band he always kept on his wrist, just in case something like this would happen. 

Well, today the rubber band wasn't keeping Jeremy's attention. Since the others were still doing something productive, and he couldn't get off of the bed without disturbing anyone, he was stuck, with nothing to do. 

'Why can't I just be a normal human being and not have to do something every fucking minute of my life?' Jeremy thought to himself. 

He grabbed his phone out of his back jean pocket, and began scrolling through his tumblr. Nothing interesting had caught his eye. All of the same uninteresting stuff kept popping up on his dashboard. 

But, whenever he was about to click off of tumblr, his eyes spotted something. It was a post about "How to Get Your Lover's Attention 101".   
Normally, Jeremy would never read something like this. He knew, despite his boyfriends basically forcing the thought into his mind, that he was going to be loved by them no matter what, so there's no need to grab their attention. But, even though he wasn't using the article for what it's supposed to be used for, he was desperate, so he finally decided to read it anyways. 

He knew he had to do something, so why not try to get your boyfriends attention and annoy the living shit out of them?

He skimmed through the article, picking up only tips and advice that he thought he would need, like "How to Be Subtle", or "The Do's and Don'ts of Getting What You Want From Your Boyfriend". Yes, most of these articles Jeremy was reading was meant for manipulative, bratty teens and twenty year olds who's significant other don't want to be with them, so they find a way to force them to be with them, but Jeremy had no other options. Besides, he for one thought of the idea to annoy his three lovers in the first place, and he would never try to force them into anything. He was just trying to find something fun to do, and this seemed to be his only option. 

After Jeremy thought he'd gain enough knowledge on how to subtlety annoy and get the attention of the three boys, he tested how they would react to it. 

He started off small, tapping his foot on Jake's vocabulary book, and leaning his head on Michael or Rich's shoulder, and when they would move Jeremy's head off of the boys shoulders, he would make little noises, almost like whines. 

Then, when his boyfriend didn't budge at that, Jeremy decided to take it too the next level. 

He then started doing things like trying to grab Michael's hand (who kept swatting Jeremy's away and saying "Not now Jer, m' doing work", and playing with Rich's hair (Rich didn't mind until Jeremy had tried to braid the dirty blondes greasy hair). Jeremy also had started rubbing Jake's back with his feet (Jake didn't mind, of course. Jeremy always gave great massages).

But, no one would give Jeremy what he really wanted : someone to pay attention to him. 

Yes, Jeremy was bored. But the reason for getting his boyfriends attention went beyond him just having nothing else to do. 

Ever since the "squipcident", as Rich made them all call it, Jeremy's low self esteem had gotten worse. He constantly needed validation, and to feel like he's loved, or else he would fall into a state of depression. Some would say he's just a moody, angsty teenager, but Jeremy's good and bad days made it clear to his Dad and everyone around him that it wasn't normal. The only disorder that Jeremy had ever been diagnosed with was ADHD at the young age of seven, but only a year ago was when he started showing signs of being Bipolar.

When he was with his boyfriends, he was as happy as can be, bouncing as he walked and humming quietly to himself. But, when he was having his off days, or his "bad" days, he wouldn't even get out of bed, just mess with the rubber band around his wrist, and cried silently. 

Without Rich, Michael, and Jake, Jeremy was nothing. He wouldn't even try to get out of bed on his off days if it wasn't for them. 

That's why he was really doing this, not because he was bored or because he wanted to see how fun it was to annoy his boyfriends.

Or was he? Was he really just an annoying little shit that people are forced to put up with? Did everybody still hate him, but they had pity on him so they let him be their friend?

Jeremy had gotten so lost up into his own thoughts that he didn't even notice that he'd started to cry. 

"Jerbear? Are you alright?" Asked Rich. 

Jeremy tried to form the words "no" with his mouth, but it was like he had gone mute. He instead shook his head as more tears fell from his freckled face. 

Rich, Michael, and Jake immediately put down what they were doing and turned their full attention towards Jeremy.

'Isn't this what you wanted? You wanted to be the center of their attention. Why are you changing your mind now? Stupid attention whore. They don't love you, they pity you. That's the only reason they let you join their relationship' a familiar voice stated inside of Jeremy's head. 

Jeremy let out an ugly sob as he tried to grab onto something, anything. Michael hugged him from one side, while Rich got the other. Jake moved Jeremy so that he was in the taller boys lap, and Jake began to pet his hair, while he wrapped his arms around the scrawny boy's waist. 

Jeremy cried and cried, tears steaming down his face. He sobbed and sobbed, screamed and yelled, until his voice was rough and corse and he couldn't cry anymore. 

He sniffed, and it was quiet for a bit. It was Jeremy that broke the silence.   
"W-w-why d-do you p-put up with m-me...?"

Michael kissed Jeremy's tear streaked cheek and asked "What do you mean, love?"

"A-all I ever want is attention.... Why would you l-love someone who's just an a-attention whore?" Jeremy said in a small voice. 

"Because", Rich started, "We love you, and we love giving you attention. Sweetheart, if you felt like we weren't paying enough attention to you, why didn't you say anything?" Rich kissed another one of Jeremy's stray tears that fell from his watery eyes. 

"'Cause. I thought you'd think m' annoying, and you wouldn't w-wanna be with someone l-like-" The tears were falling faster down Jeremy's face. "Someone l-like m-m-me!" He started to sob again. Jake held him close as Michael and Rich said sweet nonsense into the sad boy's ears. 

"Love, there's nothing wrong with you. Never think that. You're so perfect, you're our perfect boy, you know that? So good, we love you so much" cooed Jake, somehow managing to hold Jeremy even closer. 

Jeremy hiccuped before sobbing "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry I'm like this!" He curled in on himself, trying to focus on his breathing. 'In, out. In, out' he thought. 

"Shhh, never be sorry. You're perfect just the way you are, baby boy. Never forget that" said Rich, petting Jeremy's hair like Jake had done earlier. 

Jeremy sniffled until his tears had stopped falling again. "I love you guys..." He said, almost in a whisper. 

"We love you too Jeremy" all three boys said in unison, meaning every word that they said. They did love Jeremy, even if he was seen as "needy" or "a crybaby". 

Who cares if Jeremy was Bipolar, or ADHD, or had a lot of problems. Rich, Michael, and Jake all loved him, and nothing would ever change that.


End file.
